Michael Hainsworth

No, You’re Schmoopie!

The more you call each other by pet names, the more satisfying your relationship, according to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

Female mathematics & chemistry majors most likely to be virgins

Counterpoint magazine at Wellesley College has reportedly published this graph. Only 2,300 women are selected to attend liberal arts school Wellesley College, and apparently the art students are more liberal than their number-crunching counterparts. The school is a 134 year old institution outside Boston, the fourth ranked in the Untied States. Classes have as few [...]

World’s biggest diamond heist foiled by friendship

Wired Magazine offers a fascinating story about the man who orchestrated the 2003 $100M break-in of the Antwerp Diamond Center’s Titanic-like vault. The vault itself was 3 feet thick and protected by 10 layers of security — including infrared heat detectors foiled by oily hairspray and a magnetic field tricked by double sided tape. The [...]

Elf Spotting

Artist and HAINSWORTH.COM Facebook friend Robert J. Lewis points us in the direction of a Vanity Fair’s article on the bankrupt land of Bjork. While it’s an extensive dissection of how the 300,000 strong fishing nation of Iceland reinvented itself as “The Wall Street on the Tundra,” a Slate Magazine blogger became understandably side tracked [...]

Unfortunate Photo

Why You Didn’t Notice Your Wife’s New Hairdoo

It turns out there’s a good reason for not noticing: men experience “hair blindness.” It’s like fridge blindness, cupboard blindness, and underwear on the floor blindness. University College London neuroscientist Brad Duchaine has learned that when we see someone, our brain focuses on the face for recognition. Once it recognizes the person, it stops “looking” [...]

Yeah, Baby! Penis Extender Works: Study

Turns out all that spam I’ve been getting isn’t lying: a penis extender can actually work. Unavailable for comment ABC Affiliate 7 News is reporting out of Denver that an Italian study concluded you can gain almost a full inch to your manhood. The downside? You’ve got to wear “a device with dynamic rods” over [...]

The Magic of Dennis Keith

UPDATE! He’s a “Magician-Comedian” and more of his work is here.

Internet loves porn, believes in evolution

You discover all sorts of unusual things combing the logs and statistics at HAINSWORTH.COM. It was no surprise that Porn airs during Super Bowl Game was the most popular article here. What surprises me more is that Darwin Poster: Very Gradual Change We Can Believe In surpassed it. When a Tuscon, Arizona Comcast feed of [...]

The US auto industry: a history of greed dating back to 1960

New Scientist gives us insight into the auto industry’s current woes. After all, GM killing the electric car a decade before $4/gallon gas because it wouldn’t turn a profit in 6 months is only the latest evidence of a company “run by salesmen not engineers.” Introducing the 1960 Cornell-Liberty Survival Car, the vehicle Detroit wouldn’t [...]

Into the Heart of Darkness Jackson (Gallery)

HAINSWORTH.COM reader “Tarzan” Dan (if-that-is-your-real-name) tipped us to this voyeuristic peek into Michael Jackson’s mind — through the Neverland Ranch sale. The Associated Press reports more than 2,000 of his “treasures” will be auctioned off from April 14th to the 20th, from the train locomotives to the ferris wheels. But there are some more interesting [...]

Beam Me Up, Scotty!

Seamstress Becky of EveningArwen on etsy.com can make every geek boy’s Star Trek fantasy come true for a mere US$200. Betsy says her goal is to create movie replica costumes for Hallowe’en or themed birthday parties, and admits you’ll pay a pretty penny for the cosplay (costume play) that goes with fulfilling a fantasy such [...]

One’s first impression may not be under your control

New Scientist reports your facial structure determines how others perceive you — from their dominance over you to their trustworthiness. It’s an idea that goes back to the ancient Greeks. And it’s a case of perception is reality: the study of physiognomy has re-emerged in psychology circles. It’s believed we’re hard-coded to make split decisions [...]

174 Facts About Sex

Welt Online has compiled 174 facts from sources as diverse as the Kinsey Institute to Cosmo. How many did you already know, sexpert? A study of 300 pairs revealed that men who smoke have half as much sex as men who don’t. (Cosmopolitan) Homophobes get more turned on watching sex scenes between gay men than [...]

Statistics show what you already know: Playboy Playmates do not reflect reality

Wired Magazine has culled data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and other sources to conclude Playboy magazine centerfolds are taking on less and less realistic figures. The Body Mass Index of the average woman between 1960 and 1962 was 22.2, while the Playmate BMI was 19.4. By 2008, the average BMI of a [...]

In Memoriam: Shawn C. Dodd

By Paul Hainsworth Yesterday I received some terrible news. My friend Shawn had taken his own life on Tuesday, February 4. Like the crater left behind when a meteor strikes, his death has left me feeling a little hollowed out. Suicide has a way of doing that to the people left behind. I first got [...]

Martini: the adulterer’s cocktail of choice

Alex Renton of the London Times explains how to make the sophisticated drink, and looks back at its origins and its role in taboo rumpy-bumpy. If you believe this and other dramas set in middle-class, suburban Fifties America, people’s main activity after adultery seemed to be the making and the drinking of dry Martinis. It [...]

The “Base” Metaphor, Explained

Although everyone knows what a “home run” is, I don’t know anyone who has a difinitive answer as to what constitutes getting to “second base.”xkcd.com, a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language, offers the following explanation. Interesting to note that there was a time of innocence when “third base” was “second base” — but [...]

What’s wrong with those damned teenagers

Turns out those punk kids have a reason for ignoring your demand to get off your lawn: their brains aren’t developed enough. University College in London has published a study that shows children have difficulty adopting the viewpoint of others. And while this improves with age, teens still have trouble putting themselves in your shoes. [...]

Bill O’Reilly vs. Christian Bale

HAINSWORTH.COM gets wind of another behind the scenes tape revealing the stresses associated with producing film and television (thanks, Dave!). Hot on the heels of Batman actor Christian Bale’s expletive laced tirade against a crew member walking around during a take, we have this remix that reveals Bale was the crewmember on Inside Edition behind [...]

Hummer Drivers Get More Tickets

In a minor case of Instant Karma, insurance risk management company Quality Planning Corporation reports its latest study concludes Hummer drivers get almost five times more traffic tickets than the rest of us. After reviewing 1,700,000 tickets, the company found the Hummer H2 and H3 are the most frequently ticketed vehicles on the road. The [...]

Time-lapse of a 9-month-old at play

The creator of this video is quick to point out he didn’t leave the kid unattended for several hours, just edited out the family interaction for greater amusement.

Dyscalculia Affects Eleventy Million People

Humans are unique in the animal kingdom: we understand math. At least most of us do. But there term for those of us who don’t. The word is “Dyscalculia.” It’s a case of not being able to connect the dots between objects and numbers. Sufferers may be otherwise intelligent, but have a “mental block” when [...]

Elevator Action

Our House Under a Voodoo Curse?

I spent some time this weekend gardening and came across the most unusual find half-buried behind a bush in the front of my house.