Stonehenge was built over the course of almost 700 years, primarily due to red tape in the zoning department. The first stone slabs were placed on the site around 3000 BC and the site wasn’t as we know it today until about 2400 BC. It’s a burial ground and always has been. The “henge” in Stonehenge relates to the layout, but in archaeological terms, isn’t actually a henge because the pit is dug inside the circle, not around its perimeter. The horizontal stones that lay atop the vertical ones may have also been used as punishment by hanging, as the traditional inverted “L” shaped gallows is a relatively new concept.

While Stonehenge is often associated with druids and modern day nutjobs, the site was built during the Neolithic era –  the last of three parts of the Stone Age (Paleolithic, and Mesolithic predate this period).

“The” Stone Age is a term that bothers archaeologists. They’re quite cranky about it because groups exited this stage at different times. Their crankiness may also be associated with the fact they rarely find themselves in Indiana Jones-like situations.

Some groups technically remained within their Stone Age until they came across more advanced civilizations. Archaeologists want us to talk about “a” Stone Age — much like that jackass you work with who went around reminding everyone that the “21st Century” didn’t technically begin until 2001. Scientists are also cranky about us using “stone age” as a derogatory term.

While “Stone Age” is often a term used to describe the first use of stone based tools, it also represents social advances including living in groups. The Stone Age ends with the smelting of copper, the development of agriculture, and religion. I’m not kidding about that last part. Hence Stonehenge.

The Stone Age (screw you, scientists) age represents approximately 99% of Man’s time on the planet, or 23% if you’re a Scientologist.

Reconstruction of Homo habilis, the builders of Stonehenge

Reconstructino of Paranthropus boisei, the "Kramer" of the Stonehenge builders

The primary inhabitant of the Stone Age was Homo Habilis, a variation of modern day man which first appeared 2.5 million years ago. H. habilis may not be a direct ancestor, and we only figured that out in 2007. And he may not have been the first to use stone tools.

The “cave man” Homo Habilis was quite short, about 4′ 3″ tall. He also wasn’t the hunter we imagine. Fossil evidence suggests he was regularly eaten by a large scimitar-toothed predator cat the size of a jaguar called Dinofelis.

One other thing that made Habilis so advanced, was his voice box, permitting basic communication within groups and the first to argue about which way the toilet paper roll should go.

Habilis had a wacky neighbour, the Paranthropus boisei. This species lived alongside him between 2.6 million and 1.2 million years ago. With molars twice the size of ours, he’s sometimes referred to as “Nutcracker Man.” Despite the massive teeth, he primarily ate plants, not animals, and often entered a cave by sliding into the room announcing, “Hello, Jerry!”

Man, as we know him today, is a direct descendant of Homo erectus. This was the first hominin to leave Africa around 2 million years ago. He walked from the continent to Spain, Indonesia, Vietnam and, presumably in the hunt for discount merchandise, China.