Michael Hainsworth

Today we learn that a single question accurately identifies alcoholics, your grandfather better lay off the Jack, and — SHOCKER! — girls drink too much when trying to impress boys. By 1.5 drinks, to be precise.

"Glamor 101" by Tamara Monika

Researchers at Boston Medical Center re-asked 286 patients who had undergone a lengthy previous test this question, suggested by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NAMBLA). The answer appears to accurately detect those previously singled out as being an alcoholic about 79% of the time. The article doesn’t explicitly explain what it means if the answer is “once” versus “every weekend.”

So who are these people? Wikipedia states the NIAAA funds 90% of American research into drinking. Since 1970, it's been part of the National Institutes of Health in the United States, a government umbrella agency overseeing US$28B in biomedical research. The predecessor to the NIH was set up in 1887 as the Laboratory of Hygiene.

While asking a single question isn’t perfect, we’re told it’s a lot better than the alternative — not being screened at all. The NIAA believes that in a hospital setting, the traditional screening method is such a pain in the ass, doctors don’t bother with it. Asking a single question that gives an accurate assessment most of the time is better than a highly accurate assessment that isn’t given at all.

The gist of the study? You can better care for a patient if you know they’re a boozer.

1 out of every 10 elderly adults on Medicare is a drinker. Brandeis University concludes 9% engage in “unhealthy drinking” — more than 30 drinks per month or 4 or more a day. The NIAAA believes seniors haven’t clued in: you can’t drink like you used to. It suggests once you enter your silver age, ease up, bucko: from two drink minimum to two drink maximum. That’s because the body’s ability to metabolize booze decreases in your senior years.

Tip: don't type "drunk girls on campus" into Google Image Search with "SafeSearch" off. Or click this photo.

Meantime, Loyola Marymount University researchers conclude college chicks drink heavily to impress the boys, but the guys aren’t impressed. 71% of women overestimated what it takes.

The upshot? Back off by 1.5 drinks, ladies, and not only will the boys be still impressed, but you’ll still be standing.

Source: Single Question Can Identify Unhealthy Alcohol Use in Patients, sciencedaily.com

Source: New Study Sheds Light on Excessive Drinking Among The Elderly, sciencedaily.com

Source: Young Women May Be Drinking Heavily to Get Attention of Opposite Sex, But Men Not Impressed, sciencedaily.com